Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality 2: Out and Proud
It’s a shame that Miss Congeniality 2 isn't a better film, because its failings (all 947 of them) are far, far outweighed by its one extraordinary achievement.
For a time, it seemed like MC2 (as fans know it) was going to be a clumsy, run-of–the-mill, sub-sub-BHC (Beverley Hills Cop) comedy romp: cartoon baddies, an irascible partner, spiky backchat, and lots of hair-brained schemes involving daft disguises. Aside from a surprisingly touching and well-acted scene in which Bullock takes a phone call in which [WARNING: SPOILER] she supposedly gets dumped by her love-interest from MC1, the first quarter of the movie is a grindingly-edited* wasteland of confusion and pointlessness.
All you really need to know about the plot is this: Agent Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) becomes as spokesperson for the FBI, and gets given a bodyguard, fellow FBI agent, Sam (as in Samantha) Fuller, played by Regina King. Sam Fuller has anger management issues and likes to punch things. Things like Agent Gracie Hart. So that’s the deal: lots of bickering a pushing between two female FBI agents, then William Shatner gets kidnapped and the plot clunks off towards Las Vegas, where there’s more backchat, more preposterous disguises, an irascible FBI chief… bla bla bla… the end.
Except not.
About 20 minutes into this movie, just what Sandra Bullock, star and executive producer, was trying to do with the film started to become clear.
No word of a lie, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous is a full-on lesbian love-story. With a 12A certificate. All of the spiky backchat and hair-pulling between Hart and Fuller starts off as a straightforward personality clash: but about 20 minutes in you realise – oh my God – they’re flirting. They’re actually flirting with each other. And once you see this, the flimsy sub-Ace Ventura plotline falls like scales from before your eyes: who gives a shit why the limo driver parked 200 yards away from the entrance of the old people’s home on the afternoon Shatner was kidnapped – when look, Sandra Bullock is curling up on the couch with her butch female bodyguard...
There are scenes in this movie that, in a heterosexual movie, would absolutely have ended with kissing. No question. In its own klutzy way it’s really quite an erotic movie. Except for the scenes with William Shatner in. The key erotic moment in the movie occurs just after Shatner and Miss America (don’t ask) are rescued from drowning in the lake in front of Treasure Island Casino. Bullock gets trapped and nearly drowns, but her muscular friend dives in and rescues her just she is losing consciousness (they might as well have had the word ORGASM flashing in orange lights during this underwater petite mort). Afterwards, Hart and Fuller are standing dripping wet in their skimpy outfits, and the pair have a post-coital glow about them: relaxed, happy, big grins.
And as they stand, wet and panting, Bullock whispers a little teasing sing-song phrase to her new love (packed into the last few minutes of the film is a lot of happy, girlfriend-to-girlfriend singing). Bullock sings something along the lines of “you like me…” but in the outtake sequence that runs through the credits the coyness is stipped away and (this is absolutely true) Sandra Bullock sings the phrase: “you love me, you want to kiss me…”
So yes. That’s it. They fall in love, become partners, and live happily every after. And that’s what’s incredible about this movie: there’s no big hoo-ha made about the love story, it just happens in an unfussy and oddly believable fashion.
And there you have it, a successful, mainstream 12A lesbian love flick. Hats off to everyone who made it happen. Except for the script writer who needs to be sat down, slapped in the face and told how to write a plot.
For a time, it seemed like MC2 (as fans know it) was going to be a clumsy, run-of–the-mill, sub-sub-BHC (Beverley Hills Cop) comedy romp: cartoon baddies, an irascible partner, spiky backchat, and lots of hair-brained schemes involving daft disguises. Aside from a surprisingly touching and well-acted scene in which Bullock takes a phone call in which [WARNING: SPOILER] she supposedly gets dumped by her love-interest from MC1, the first quarter of the movie is a grindingly-edited* wasteland of confusion and pointlessness.
All you really need to know about the plot is this: Agent Gracie Hart (Sandra Bullock) becomes as spokesperson for the FBI, and gets given a bodyguard, fellow FBI agent, Sam (as in Samantha) Fuller, played by Regina King. Sam Fuller has anger management issues and likes to punch things. Things like Agent Gracie Hart. So that’s the deal: lots of bickering a pushing between two female FBI agents, then William Shatner gets kidnapped and the plot clunks off towards Las Vegas, where there’s more backchat, more preposterous disguises, an irascible FBI chief… bla bla bla… the end.
Except not.
About 20 minutes into this movie, just what Sandra Bullock, star and executive producer, was trying to do with the film started to become clear.
No word of a lie, Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous is a full-on lesbian love-story. With a 12A certificate. All of the spiky backchat and hair-pulling between Hart and Fuller starts off as a straightforward personality clash: but about 20 minutes in you realise – oh my God – they’re flirting. They’re actually flirting with each other. And once you see this, the flimsy sub-Ace Ventura plotline falls like scales from before your eyes: who gives a shit why the limo driver parked 200 yards away from the entrance of the old people’s home on the afternoon Shatner was kidnapped – when look, Sandra Bullock is curling up on the couch with her butch female bodyguard...
There are scenes in this movie that, in a heterosexual movie, would absolutely have ended with kissing. No question. In its own klutzy way it’s really quite an erotic movie. Except for the scenes with William Shatner in. The key erotic moment in the movie occurs just after Shatner and Miss America (don’t ask) are rescued from drowning in the lake in front of Treasure Island Casino. Bullock gets trapped and nearly drowns, but her muscular friend dives in and rescues her just she is losing consciousness (they might as well have had the word ORGASM flashing in orange lights during this underwater petite mort). Afterwards, Hart and Fuller are standing dripping wet in their skimpy outfits, and the pair have a post-coital glow about them: relaxed, happy, big grins.
And as they stand, wet and panting, Bullock whispers a little teasing sing-song phrase to her new love (packed into the last few minutes of the film is a lot of happy, girlfriend-to-girlfriend singing). Bullock sings something along the lines of “you like me…” but in the outtake sequence that runs through the credits the coyness is stipped away and (this is absolutely true) Sandra Bullock sings the phrase: “you love me, you want to kiss me…”
So yes. That’s it. They fall in love, become partners, and live happily every after. And that’s what’s incredible about this movie: there’s no big hoo-ha made about the love story, it just happens in an unfussy and oddly believable fashion.
And there you have it, a successful, mainstream 12A lesbian love flick. Hats off to everyone who made it happen. Except for the script writer who needs to be sat down, slapped in the face and told how to write a plot.
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