Tonight Show - August 1995

Tonight Show (July 27 1995)

Sandra Bullock on "The Tonight Show", August 3rd 1995

This is a transcript of Sandra Bullock's appearance on "The Tonight Show
with Jay Leno" on August 3rd 1995.

written by Thomas Meyer (i03a@zfn.uni-bremen.de)

[ Right at the beginning of the show, before the titles, we find Jay Leno
with Sandra in a dimly lit, small office room. Sandra is sitting at an
old keyboard, typing away, while Jay sits at her right, very nervously ]
Jay: Are we in yet?Sandra: I'm working on it. Hold on.
Jay: Hurry, hurry, hurry. I never realized it's gonna be so complicated.
Sandra: It's not, it's not. It's just a simple third-level encryption.
We'll just go through the back door, we'll, uh... Once we get the
handshake and the protocol, we'll just download a hundred and
ninety-three kilo bytes and just, you know, blow up the grid, or
something.Jay: Just do it, just do it!
Sandra: Alright. Hold on. [pressing the last few keys] Okay, we're in.
Jay: Great! Great!Sandra: [moving the keyboard to him] Alright, you wanna go?
[ the camera moves around and shows the monitor, where some Tetris-like
Nintendo game can be seen ]Jay: I love this game!
[ opening credits roll... ][ Jay's monologue... ]
[ after a commercial break, the camera shows how Sandra is coming up a
staircase, waiting for Jay to introduce her ]
Jay: Welcome back! Great show tonight... From "The Net", Sandra Bullock
will be here, in just a second. From "Larry Sander's", Jeffrey
Tanbore and the music of Diana King.
Folks, my first guest, a very talented actress and, according to
MTV viewers, THE MOST desirable female on the planet. Her latest
film is called "The Net", it's in theatres right as we're talking.
Please welcome, Sandra Bullock.
[ Cheers from audience as Sandra appears on the stage. She's wearing a
black jacket, which looks like it's made out of velvet and trousers made of
the same cloth. Her shoes are black and white with big high heels. Jay is
standing beside his table, greeting her. She gives him a welcome kiss and
Jay offers her a seat.
The camera shows some guys in the audience, who've stood up and are
applauding. When they see themselves on the monitors, one of them starts
the "We're not worthy" moves from "Wayne's World".
Sandra is now seated beside Jay's table. The audience doesn't stop
cheering and applauding. ]
Jay: I believe there's, uh... There's the most desirable man, right over
there. [pointing at someone in the audience]Sandra: Where?
Jay: Most desirable man, right there. There he is...
[ Camera shows the guy, who's acting stupid for a second ]
Jay: What are you making of this? Are you having fun with this? [spreads
his arms] Is it silly?Sandra: Right now, am I having fun?
Jay: Well, no, but...
Sandra: Oh, yes. Um, with what? With, with what in particular?
Jay: What is "most desirable"? I mean, that's kind of fun, it's silly.
Sandra: Um, I think, you know... I mean, you know, how they have, you know,
re-counts, like twenty years later?Jay: [laughing]
Sandra: They're gonna have one of those and they're gonna find out somebody
else won, but right know I'm gonna enjoy it and pretend like it's
mine...Jay: Oh, it is yours!
Sandra: ...and, you know, try to use it for all I can and then, um, I'll
let go of the title as soon as they'll re-count the votes, so...
Jay: Now, does the fan thing... Obviously, I think you're at the point
now where you... Cause when you're starting up, people like your
work, then you have fans and then you'll have "The Psycho Fan".
Have you reached the psycho fans?
Sandra: Um... [laughs] I just... I get this image when you say "Psycho
Fan", like a fan that I have in my bedroom at night... He's gonna,
like, grow arms and just, like... Um, psycho fan... No, I haven't
had any yet, actually, I mean, it's been, it's been, I mean, you
know... Things like, um... I mean, I did this, this film, this
past, I think it was spring, it's called "While You Were Sleeping"
and I said something in the film that was kind of, um... You know,
the guy asked me what I was, you know, what my dad was like, and I
said, you know, he's like me, has dark hair and, um... [waving her
hands in front of her chest, thinking of the words] ...a flat
chest. [laughing] But...
So, I mean, that came about because it's, you know, it was funny.
And now, people feel the need to come up to me and tell me, if I
really have concerns about having, um... Which I don't...
[laughing] I mean everyone's looking at *this* area right now...
But they... they seem to focus... and it's actually a nice
thing when you haven't had it happen all your life, you know, all
of a sudden, people are focusing on *that* part, it's though,
they're, like, really exceptional and they're not...
[Sandra and audience laughing]
So that's... that's been the only strange thing that's happened.
Jay: Yeah.
Sandra: You know, I have to divert their attention back up to my eyes, but...
Jay: Oh, yeah, yeah.Sandra: ... you know, it's a nice challenge, though.
Jay: You... you get people... You know, my wife and I we're having...
We're eating dinner just the other night...
Sandra: [putting her hair back over her shoulders] Okay. Acapulco or
someplace else?
[laughter from audience - this relates to a joke Jay did in this showbefore]
Jay: No, someplace else actually...
Century City... Rosco's Chicken and Waffle's back there...
Sandra: Which is actually... That is actually a pretty good place...
Jay: Have you been... Have you had Chicken and Waffles?
Sandra: I've been... I've had Chicken and Waffles.
Jay: It's good, it's good, it's... It sounds like an odd...
Sandra: It sounds like it would be odd, but I think, you know, if you've
been to college and you've gone out on a Friday or Saturday evening
you... you don't wanna really go home, after, you know, all the,
um, establishments closed, so... Rosco's Chicken and Waffles...
Jay: It's got a new place... Scrambled Eggs and Pizza, have you been
there? It's the same idea... Two foods, unrelated.
Sandra: [pounding with one hand on her arm-rest, laughing] That's funny!
Jay: Hey...
[audience is laughing and cheering at Sandra's remark, Jay is laughing now,too]
Jay: So, we're sitting at this restaurant...Sandra: Okay.
Jay: ...and a couple of people come up, saying "Would you sign this?"...
"Oh, sure" and you sign it... and then the guy look over and
there's a guy staring at me, like... like this [makes a funny face]
and he goes "Hey! ... Hey!", I go "Yeah, hi!", he goes "I don't
care who you are, what do you think of that?" [makes an irritated
face] It's fine, it's fine, Sir... It's just that odd...
Sandra: Yeah, I was in, um... I had one incident like that, one. You know,
people look at me, like, they don't really care, but this was one
time, when I found somebody really cared. I was... decided I was
gonna repaint, you know, the wash room of the house, that's the
next project... We went to the paint store and this guy comes...
You got eyes in the back of your head, when something like this
happens. You can feel him barrelling down, you just turn around,
like, "WHAT?" and so... He goes "Please sign my ticket, please sign
my ticket" and it was a movie stub... something, like, ahhh,
this is really great, he just wanted to see my movie, so he wants
my autograph, so it's, like, that's pretty nice. So I sign my name
and then he flips it over as he's walking away, he goes [continuing
in a stupid voice] "Ha, ha, Waterworld...huh". And... [laughing]
[audience is laughing, some are going "Awwww...."]
So, I was... I... You know, how're you supposed to take that?
Jay: [laughing] It's odd...
Sandra: I don't know... Oh, well, you do what you can... I bought the
paints regardless and...Jay: You're doing it yourself?
Sandra: Well, I'm actually... Not here, are they?Jay: No, no.
Sandra: No, I painted the chairs, yeah... I've been painting chairs for the
past... two days.
Jay: Now, are you're priming or do you just slap the paint on...
Sandra: Well, all the paints... You know, if you get a decking paint, which
is a good sealer, you don't need to prime 'em before... [grinning]
Jay: REALLY? I had no idea... [acting as if he's noting it down on a
piece of paper] Because I know you do your own re-modelling...
Sandra: Well, I do...Jay: ... now, did you really put your new toilet in?
Sandra: Okay... The thing about the toilet, it's gotten a little out of
hand. [laughing] Now, the whole story... I *can* put in a toilet!
It's very basic, once you break it down.Jay: Right.
Sandra: But the thing you wanna do before you break it down, is turn off
the water and make sure, it's... you know, gone through.
[laughter from audience]
Jay: Yeah, you do that, yeah... and flush a couple of times.
Sandra: Yeah, that'd be a good thing, yeah. But, I mean, there are so
many... You know, it's like, the whole selection of toilets is so
*vast* and expensive these days that... you know.Jay: [gasp!]
Sandra: It's hard to decide exactly what brand or style toilet you're gonna
go with...
Jay: [seriously] But, you know, it's fun going through the catalog...
Sandra: It i...[audience laughing]
Sandra: Yes, it is, Jay, it is! And, um, yeah, for my... for my last
birthday my father... My birthday present was, um, the new "Turbo
Flush", I don't know if you know that.
Jay: With the wax seal at the base?
Sandra: All toilets have the wax seal at the base.
Jay: Uh, very good! That is very good...
Sandra: The "Turbo Flush"... I know everyone's seen it. It's like, when you
go into a restaurant or when you're on an airplane, you know, and
you flush it and it about pulls you out with it... That's it. It's
got this little push button on the top, where you just... You have
to stand up quickly and *then* flush, or you go down... [she
gesticulates during the last sentence, picturing everything]
Jay: Oh, yeah... [makes a slurping noise]
Sandra: You go right in... just like that in the toilet.
Jay: Oh, man, man... Look, when we come back... Last night we put your
thing up on the e-mail...Sandra: [big eyed] What thing?? [laughing]
Jay: What... what... we had... questions. Cause, cause of "The Net", we
thought, we've got like twenty-five-hundred responses...
[Sandra's becoming nervous and makes a sour face]
... People wanna ask you questions...
You haven't seen these... So I'm gonna ask you... your responses to
these questions.Sandra: Okay.Jay: But right after this...
[audience is cheering, the camera fades away with a monitor coming in
sight where Sandra can still be seen from a short distance away, looking
on Jay's desk, supposedly asking what this will be about... commercial break]
Jay: Your psycho fans! Now this movie, "The Net", it was a huge hit...
Are you a computer person, normally?
Sandra: Um, um, relatively, yes, yes. I, I enjoy the computer... thing.
Jay: Computer literate.Sandra: Yes.Jay: You go on that... bulletin board?
Sandra: The online thing? [grinning] Yes, I do... Yes, I do...
Jay: You have, like, a secret name?Sandra: [laughing] Yes, I do.
Jay: Really, really?Sandra: [with a sqeaky voice] Yeah...
Jay: But you can change it...Sandra: I could change it.
Jay: Is it a good name?
Sandra: It's a very good name. See, if I gave it away, I... It took me,
like, a week to figure this one out...
Jay: Oh, okay, alright, alright.
Well, what we did last night... we went online and we said "If you
have questions"...Sandra: Okay. Put 'em on.Jay: This one is, uh...
Sandra: Now, if it's anything, like, really mean, could you, like, not say
it?
Jay: No, no, it's not. This one says "I have seen all your movies and
think that you are the most beautiful people in the world..."
Sandra: [bursts out laughing] The beautiful people?
Jay: "I want you to know..."Sandra: Okay.
Jay: "... how the hell did you look so ugly in "Love Potion No. 9"?"
[audience goes "Boo!"] It says "Your biggest 14-year-old fan."
Sandra: Okay... um... I don't know if you guys saw that film, or not...
Jay: Anybody seen that?[audience acknowledges by cheering]
Do we have a picture?Sandra: You have a picture of me?
Jay: Yeah, let's see, sure, sure. Where is she?
[fade to a picture of Sandra with big glasses on and big teeth; audience is
laughing] There she is... Oh, yeah...[fade back to Sandra and Jay]
Hm... The teeth, the teeth...
[the picture is shown again for a short time]
Sandra: Oh, well, you know, I mean, it's kind of what I started out in this
business, you know, they said "Well, she's not too pretty, but she
might clean up real nice", so... If you have good bone structure,
you can build from that and, and... a lot of waxing helps, so, you
know...Jay: Waxing...Sandra: Yeah.
Jay: Here's another one from Gray C., Lakevilles, Florida.Sandra: Okay.
Jay: "I saw "The Net" this weekend..."Sandra: Uh-huh.
Jay: "... one comment for Sandra: Those are the biggest pair of dogs
[shoes] I've ever seen on a chick!"
[Sandra's eyes goes wide, she's laughing and stomps on the floor with one foot]
Do you and Shaquille O'Neal shop at the same shoe store?
[cut to Sandra's feet]
Sandra: [lifts her feet up from the floor] I have... I have size eight and
a half.Jay: Is that big?
Sandra: No. I mean, it's normal.
[audience applauds in consent]
Jay: Now, we have... This is one of Shaq's actual shoes. [from behind
his desk, he lifts a giant sports shoe; Sandra is laughing at the
sight of it] Now this is... this is...
Sandra: Let's do a comparison. [lifts one leg and puts a foot on Jay's
desk]
Jay: This is Shaq's actual shoe. It's a twenty-two... [putting the shoe
beside Sandra's - it's almost twice as long as her's]
Sandra: Now, look at that!
Jay: Look at that! Look at that. So that's... It's *close*, but it's not
that close.
Sandra: Well, it's the same color. That's probably what they got mixed up,
cause we both wear black and white shoes.
Jay: Yeah, yeah. I think so, because when you put 'em back together...
Man! [puts the big shoe sole to sole to Sandra's]
Oh, man, okay...
Sandra: [putting her leg down] So, you know. Alright. Boy, am I glad, I got
that off... his chest.
Jay: This one says here "I think you should be aware, there are some
people trading a picture of you on the Internet."
Sandra: Okay.
Jay: "Supposedly it is a nude picture."Sandra: [surprised] Really? [laughing]
Jay: "I could not believe that you would do such a pose, usually people
paste your face on top of a naked woman and some people actually
think it's you. I will include this file for you to view..."
Sandra: Well...Jay: Unsigned.
Sandra: I appre... Well, this was something, that, um, I did at the
beginning of my career, cause you know, they say you should do
things to help your career. So, this is what I did and I stand
behind it and... it's...Jay: Well, let's show the photo.
Sandra: I was in better shape, I think, at the time.
Jay: Yeah, a little better... [he pulls out a black card board with a
picture of a VERY muscular person with Sandra's face pasted on it
and holds it in the camera; there is a smaller black bar on the
chest and a bigger black box on the theigh area]
You sure were pretty beefy looking there.Sandra: Yeah.
Jay: There you go, there's...
[audience can finally see the photo and starts laughing]Sandra: [laughing]
Jay: [showing the picture to Sandra] And lovely legs, by the way.
Sandra: [taking the picture from Jay] Oh, wow, this is kind of cool, can I
keep that?Jay: Sure, take it. It's all yours.
Now, tell me about this movie. This movie did huge...
[Sandra is still looking at the picture and suddenly, she's bursting out
laughing]Sandra: I have to say something... [almost falling from her seat]
Jay: [laughing] It's what? It's what?
Sandra: I mean, look at this. [turning the picture around to the camera]
It's, like, where's the smaller bar on this picture?
[audience is laughing]
Sandra: Okay. Alright. [uses the card board to wave some air to herself]
Whew, it's hot in here. [she puts the card board on the seat beside
her] Okay, what were you asking? I'm sorry.
Jay: Well, we have a clip from the film, do you wanna set this up?
Sandra: Oh, sure! Which clip is it?Jay: Aaahhhh....
Sandra: I guess it's a clip where I'm, ah... I think this is the one where,
I... I've got... I've broken into, ah, Cathedral Software, which is
a place where I used to work, [continuing in a fast, monotonous
voice] where somebody's now taken my identity and I have to go in
and I've got to trick her, with her thinking that it's not me, but
it is me, when I gotta go in and I gotta get into the computer and
then I trick her and she's tricked and it's, it's, ah... that's
what happens.[audience applaus, someone yells "Yeah!"]
Jay: Alright. Let's take a look, here we go. A scene from "The Net".
[ A large TV set begins to rise from somewhere behind Sandra and Jay and
they turn around to watch it
In the clip, Sandra is seen at a desk with a computer in a big office
room that is separated into smaller compartments. She is on the phone
with the false Angela Bennett and discovers who exactly that person is,
when the other woman stands up and looks around the office. Sandra then
uses the computer to switch on "Terminal Echo" on the other machine,
where the false Angela informs her bosses that she suspects being under
surveillance by the real Angela. After that, Sandra goes into the
computer controlled Fire Control System to trigger a fire alarm at the
other Angela's desk. Lights go out and a voice says "This is a fire alarm." ]
[ applause from audience ]Jay: That's all very [???] a lot of fun.
Sandra: Thank you.Jay: You're off on vacation?
Sandra: Yes, as of... as of twenty minutes from now I'm... I'm off on
vacation, but have you noticed about clips that they pick the one
where I said nothing and the computer said everything? [laughing]
Jay: [laughing] Well, that's what they sent me... I don't know...
Sandra: [still laughing] I don't understand.
Jay: Well, it's a great movie and you did a great job in it.
Sandra: Well, it's a lot of fun.
Jay: Thanks for coming. [shaking hands with Sandra] Sandra Bullock.