By: Louis Hobson

Hollywood- It only looks as if Sandra Bullock is the happiest person in Hollywood. Her co-stars constantly remark about how cheerful, kind, effervescent and generous the movie star is on and off a film set. They also claim Bullock throws the best cast parties in the business. But not all is rosy in the life of Sandra.

"Sure I'm an optimistic, joyous person but I'm also afraid and insecure," Bullock concedes.

"One of the reasons I go out of my way to be kind is that I've known what it's like not to be given kindness. I came to America from Germany when I was in my early teens and got my butt kicked big time in junior high," says Bullock, who was born in Arlington, Va., but spent much of her childhood in Europe because her mother, Helga, was a popular German opera singer.

"I sounded different and dressed different. My classmates were unbelievably cruel, and it left its mark. My defence was to reach out. As a result, for most of my adult life anybody else's cause was more important than mine. It's only in the last few years that I've learned to be kinder to myself."

It's Bullock's newest movie, 28 Days, that has her in such an uncharacteristic and introspective mood.

In this edgy comedy, which opens in Winnipeg April 14, Bullock plays Gwen Cummings, a successful writer whose life is one big party of drugs, alcohol, and sex. When she borrows and subsequently crashes the bridal limo at her sister's wedding, Gwen is sentenced to 28 days in a substance abuse clinic.

As part of her preparation and research for the film, Bullock visited a rehab centre.

"I was honestly expecting to see a few celebrities and especially some heavy metal rockers-but everyone there was just the man or woman next door. That was sobering and enlightening."

Bullock doesn't credit either the film or her brief research last year for her new found feelings of security. Instead, she says she's been working on her own issues for some time.

"I began four years ago to turn my life around. I love where I am and where I can see myself heading. Gradually, I have begun letting go of the things I thought I had to do to be happy."

A big part of Bullock's new strategy includes staying home more at her Texas ranch.

"I love working but I also enjoy this nesting period I'm in."

She is in a relationship but she says she is not considering having a child in the near future.

"I'll have a child but only if I am really in love at the time. I could have had kids when I was 17 but I was far too selfish at that period of my life."

Though it would seem Bullock has become rather restrained, she is quick to point out she has not plans to become completely staid.

"The older I get the less mature I get and I like that. I just intend to channel my behaviour to benefit to benefit myself as well as others. I did not peak in high school as so many people feel they did but I still don't think I'm peaking. I want to do that when I'm 50. As I've said often, I did not have a fun childhood. I'm having it now because I feel so liberated."

copyright © 2000 by The Liberty Bell